Many complain that this blog is boring. The words, 'leaden', 'turgid' and 'moribund' crop up an awful lot in criticisms. Well, I plan to confound my critics with a special series called Ivy Watch!

Yes, each week you can check on the progress of my ivy plants! Let me introduce …

The first photo I took on my Android phone.

These alien craft have landed in my garden.

Looks like the mother ship in the corner.

I get trains every day and pretty much always loiter in the vestibule - you probably hate me.

Blimey. I never really believed that anyone else read this!

You can get subsidised compost bins from the council - not quite as good as a reduction in council tax, but not bad.

I like this side of you.

I resisted making this post for some time, for it reveals the petty and authoritarian side of my nature. I travel by train a lot. Although Mussolini didn't actually make the trains run on time, these are the things he should have done:

• When waiting for a train, spread out …

The guy who's growing vegetables in my garden asked for a compost bin. Luckily my dad had a spare one; it looks just like the picture above. Now I can put stuff like banana skins and orange peel in the bin, and it'll get made into compost instead of using …

The government plans to compel us in the UK to buy smart meters. The arguments for it are that:

• It'll save the electricity companies money because meter readers wouldn't have to go out and read meters.
• It'll save customers money, because more accurate measurement leads to energy savings.

I object …